Donald Trump Could Be A Great American Hero

Here’s How

Dear President Trump,

For purposes of argument, let’s stipulate that you’ve done nothing wrong. None of it is true. No collusion. No obstruction. No financial chicanery. No sexual misconduct. No instability. Let’s grant that all of it is an anthology of slander concocted by your political enemies to make sure you can’t make America great again. And further, let’s imagine that next week, Robert Mueller announces, with Adam Schiff and Mark Warner by his side, that not only is there no evidence of any wrong-doing, but that your critics all owe you the greatest apology in the history of apologies. And wait, there’s more! Charles Blow and Rachel Maddow perform an act-of-contrition dance routine. If all of this happens, one question lingers: Would you please consider stepping, nonetheless, aside?

For even if you’re entirely virtuous, if all of the accusations have been part of a “witch hunt,” even if you’re very much worthy of the office of the presidency, one fact remains unmistakably true. You are not suited to the job at all.

At all.

At all.

Really, really, really at all.

You’re what’s known in human resources as a bad hire. Doesn’t mean you’re a bad guy. Clearly, you’ve got lots of skills, campaigning among them. It just means you’re a bad match with this particular, and very important, job.

“You’re what’s known in human resources as a bad hire.”

To be sure, you’ve had some achievements worth noting. Though you’re stretching to claim credit for the stock market — it was at an all-time high when Obama left office, too — your secret plan for defeating ISIS, for which you took so much heat, has worked beautifully. Our borders are more secure than they’ve been for decades. And surely, among the thousands of regulations you’ve rolled back there were a bunch of capitalism-killers in there. But even so, all those real achievements notwithstanding, you’re the wrong guy for this job. You’re just a bad hire.

That’s the long and short of it.

The proof is a telling five-word phrase in the congratulatory tweet you sent to Doug Jones after he won the special election in Alabama. After poking him with a snide reference to the write-in votes that worked in his favor, you tried to slide back to gracious with the revealing fragment. “But a win is a win,” you wrote.

Wrong.

Really, really wrong.

That is true in commercial real-estate. It’s also true on the golf course. It’s true in many places. It’s just not true in democracy. In democracy, a win is not a win. In democracy, a win is a promise. In democracy, a win is an obligation. In democracy, a win is a covenant with all the citizens who didn’t vote for you. One of the powerful chords in your heart — this idea that prevailing is all that matters, that there are winners and there are losers and that’s the name of that tune — is anathema to democracy.

“In democracy, a win is not a win. In democracy, a win is a promise. In democracy, a win is an obligation. In democracy, a win is a covenant with all the citizens who didn’t vote for you.”

Democracy is not about the winners. Democracy is about the people who don’t have power. Democracy has to cherish the losers — they’re our countrymen. Democracy requires the courage to be merciful; it requires a sort of civic kindness. You have some outstanding qualities, President Trump, but that one? Maybe not so much. You don’t believe in democracy. You believe in power. It seems as though anger feels like home to you. You just plain like a fight. That’s why you’re not suited to the Presidency. That’s why you’re a bad hire. A really, really, really bad hire. You’re a business guy. So you know the undisputed wisdom about dealing with a bad hire. End it. Now. Don’t try to fix it. Just end it. Nobody’s fault. Let’s just move on.

“You’re a business guy. So you know the undisputed wisdom about dealing with a bad hire. End it. Now. Don’t try to fix it. Just end it. Nobody’s fault. Let’s just move on.”

Why wait for the ‘witch hunt’ to play out? Doesn’t matter if you’re vindicated or indicted for multiple crimes. No matter what happens, you’re still a bad hire. You’re a lion, Mr. Trump. The presidency is too small for you. But you can set things right by stepping aside. Let’s put everybody out of their misery. You were so perfectly suited to your old role — billionaire, real estate mogul, television star, golf impresario. If you became Citizen Trump again, and added talk show host to the resume, you could still play a huge role in the public debate. Now, that’s a good hire. And doesn’t that sound like more fun than all those investigators poking their noses into shell companies where their noses don’t belong?

“You’re a lion, Mr. Trump. The presidency is too small for you. But you can set things right by stepping aside. Let’s put everybody out of their misery.”

Who knows what the future holds? You may well be cleared. And even if you’re not, you may well survive attempts to remove your from office. You are, to be sure, a resourceful fighter. But ask yourself this, is this how you want to spend your last decade? Who benefits? Are you actually enjoying this? Is Ivanka? Barron? Melania? How about Don Jr? How’s this all working out for him?

Keep in mind that everybody, and this includes people who support you strongly, would breathe a sigh of relief if you stepped aside with style. Don’t forget, if you pass the baton to Mike Pence, there’s not much policy difference between you two. In fact, lots of your most devoted supporters might actually prefer his positions on social issues. Sure, they’d miss you; the veep is no barrel of laughs. But weighing everything, swapping out you for Pence, would be a tonic for the country. And there is also this. The bet here is that people would stop looking into things that maybe you’d like them to stop looking into.

And here’s the capper. If you were to step down, it wouldn’t make you look weak. On the contrary, it would reveal enormous strength. It wouldn’t make you a loser. On the contrary, it would make you one of the great patriots of all time. The last man to give up power he could have easily kept was George Washington. That strong enough for you?

You’re an impressive guy, Mr. President. But you’re a bad hire to be top dog in a democracy. Let’s make America great again.